The Beginners Guide to Meditation

Meditation is a practice that can help you cope with stress, pain, and illness. It can also make you happier, healthier, and more mindful. Sounds great, right? But how do you actually do it? If you’re new to meditation, you might have some questions, doubts, or fears. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. In this guide, we’ll explain what meditation is, why you should try it, and how to get started. We’ll also share some tips, tricks, and jokes to make your meditation journey more fun and enjoyable.

What is meditation?

Meditation is a way of training your mind to be more aware, focused, and calm. It involves paying attention to your breath, your body, your thoughts, your feelings, or anything else that is happening in the present moment. Meditation is not about emptying your mind, achieving enlightenment, or escaping reality. It’s about being fully present, accepting what is, and letting go of what isn’t.

There are many types of meditation, such as mindfulness, mantra, loving-kindness, visualization, and more. You can meditate sitting, lying down, walking, or even dancing. You can meditate for a few minutes, a few hours, or a few days. You can meditate alone, with a friend, or with a group. You can meditate with music, silence, or sounds. You can meditate with a teacher, a book, or an app. You can meditate anytime, anywhere, and anyhow. The possibilities are endless.

Why should you meditate?

Meditation has many benefits for your physical, mental, and emotional health. Here are some of them:

  • Meditation can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. It can help you relax, cope, and feel more positive.

  • Meditation can improve your concentration, memory, and creativity. It can help you focus, learn, and solve problems.

  • Meditation can enhance your immune system, lower your blood pressure, and ease your pain. It can help you heal, prevent, and manage diseases.

  • Meditation can increase your happiness, compassion, and gratitude. It can help you love, forgive, and appreciate yourself and others.

  • Meditation can increase oxytocin, the happy hormone, which in turn balances other hormones that have been affected by stress.

Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, don’t take our word for it. There is plenty of scientific evidence to back up these claims. You can check out some of the research here, here, and here.

 
 

How do you meditate?

Meditation is simple, but not easy. It takes practice, patience, and perseverance. But don’t worry, you don’t need any special skills, equipment, or qualifications to meditate. All you need is yourself, a comfortable place, and some time. Here are some basic steps to get you started:

  1. Find a quiet and cozy spot where you won’t be disturbed. You can sit on a chair, a cushion, or the floor. Make sure your back is straight, your shoulders are relaxed, and your head is balanced. You can close your eyes, or keep them slightly open.

  2. Set a timer for how long you want to meditate. You can start with 5 or 10 minutes, and gradually increase as you feel more comfortable. You can use a clock, a watch, or an app. We recommend using Insight Timer, a free app that has thousands of guided meditations, music tracks, and soundscapes to suit your mood and preference.

  3. Choose an object of attention for your meditation. This can be your breath, a word, a phrase, a sensation, an image, or anything else that helps you stay focused. For example, you can repeat a mantra, such as “I am calm”, “I am enough”, or “I am hilarious”. Or you can visualize a place, a person, or a thing that makes you happy, such as a beach, a puppy, or a pizza.

  4. Bring your attention to your chosen object, and try to stay with it as much as possible. Whenever your mind wanders, which it will, gently bring it back to your object. Don’t judge yourself, criticize yourself, or give up. Just notice, acknowledge, and return. This is the essence of meditation. Sometimes even a little bit of humour can help here - try and err on the side of amusement that you’ve drifted off somewhere else yet again!

  5. When your timer goes off, slowly open your eyes, and take a moment to notice how you feel. You might feel calm, relaxed, refreshed, or energized. Or you might feel bored, restless, frustrated, or sleepy. Whatever you feel, it’s okay. There is no right or wrong way to meditate. Just be honest, curious, and kind to yourself.

  6. Congratulate yourself for taking the time to meditate, and thank yourself for your effort. You can also thank your object of attention, your surroundings, and anyone or anything else that supported your meditation. You can end your session with a smile, a stretch, or a hug.

  7. Repeat this process as often as you can, preferably every day. The more you meditate, the more benefits you’ll experience. You’ll also get better at it, and enjoy it more. Remember, meditation is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice to master.

 
 

Tips, tricks, and jokes

Meditation can be challenging, especially for beginners. You might face some obstacles, such as distractions, boredom, doubt, or resistance. You might also have some questions, such as how to sit, when to meditate, or what to expect. Here are some tips, tricks, and jokes to help you overcome these challenges and make your meditation more fun and enjoyable.

  • Tip: Experiment with different types, times, and places of meditation. Find what works best for you, and stick to it. Don’t compare yourself to others, or to an ideal. Just do your best, and trust the process.

  • Trick: Use a reminder, a reward, or a buddy to motivate yourself to meditate. For example, you can set an alarm, a calendar, or a sticker to remind you to meditate. You can treat yourself to a snack, a nap, or a Netflix show after you meditate. You can also meditate with a friend, a family member, or a group to keep you accountable and inspired.

  • Tip: Be gentle, flexible, and playful with your meditation. Don’t force yourself, strain yourself, or stress yourself. Don’t take yourself, your thoughts, or your feelings too seriously. Don’t worry about doing it right or getting it wrong. Just relax, breathe, and have fun.

  • Trick: Use a mantra, a quote, or a joke to lighten up your mood and attitude. For example, you can say to yourself, “I am calm and cool”, “This too shall pass”, or “Don’t worry, be happy”. You can also use a funny or inspiring quote, such as “Be the change you wish to see in the world”, “Don’t sweat the small stuff”, or “Life is too important to be taken seriously”.

  • Tip: Be curious, open, and grateful for your meditation. Don’t expect anything, resist anything, or regret anything. Don’t judge your experience, compare your experience, or attach to your experience. Just observe, accept, and appreciate whatever happens.

  • Trick: Use a journal, a log, or a tracker to record and reflect on your meditation. For example, you can write down how long you meditated, what you focused on, how you felt, and what you learned. You can also use a chart, a graph, or a app to track your progress, challenges, and insights.

  • Joke: How do you know someone is a meditator? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.

Conclusion

Meditation is a wonderful practice that can transform your life. It can help you cope with stress, pain, and illness. It can also make you happier, healthier, and more mindful. But most importantly, it can help you discover yourself, your true nature, and your purpose. So what are you waiting for? Start your meditation journey today, and see for yourself what it can do for you. And remember, don’t forget to laugh along the way.

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